My top 10 amusing search phrases
Every now and then I check to see what search phrases people use to find their way to PLAG. Most of them make a lot of sense, but some leave me scratching my head. Here the top 10 funny or weird searches that brought people to PLAG over the past month. I doubt many of them found what they were looking for:
10. female guitarists suck
9. frantic vibrato
8. naughty lori hahah! Busted!
7. rusty cooley s girlfriend Oh dear, poor Rusty.
6. freaky computer mind readers
5. french girls suck very nice Ooh la la!
4. free solo girl vids (I don’t think they meant guitar solos, *blush*)
3. butt excersizes [sic] Somebody trying to tell me something?
2. butt plag training stories (Ahem, I think plag is a spelling mistake.)
1. lori linstruth and malmsteen married Sorry Yng, I’m already taken.
Honorable mention: play like a girl t-shirts
Hmmm, looks like I’d better hustle before someone beats me to it!
By posting this I’m actually increasing the odds that searches for these terms will lead here. Oh well, all’s fair in seeking cheap entertainment from web stats!
Popularity: 2% [?]
Ah, ah ! Not so much guitar !!!
Good thing I aint a girl then..but yay for webstats though.. it’s really funny to see how people find your site (and I had visitors this week who found my site thanks to the image search of google.. using ‘Stream of Passion’ as a search term)
Forget to mention this one: “0.5: Emo girl cuts off pinkies for fun”.
“Lori Linstruth height”
Are you gonna publicly announce your height? You look quite tall next to that Michael Jordon sized monster Arjen.
I must confess I search youtube regularly for ‘female guitarist’, and then I sort by ‘date added’.
So, how are you going to explain to Malmsteen that you’re cheating on him with Rusty?
Never mind, being a freaky computer mind reader, you’ll know what to say to appease him …
Oooh…….. I’d love it if there was a PLAG t-shirt.
Hahahahaha, that’s kind of weird.
Lori, you could make another post talking about the referers to your site.
(In my case I got here through Wikipedia)
lol
Lori Linstruth, you are very funny and one of my favorite guitar players (top 5, numbah one being john petrucci). I love you’re arepggios to death.
Is there any possibility you could join a band where you just solo 24/7? Please do that.
Maarten: I agree: webstats can be fun! The ones above were only for the last 30 days or so; one rainy day I’ll have to go back through the archives. Who knows what merriment may be lurking!
Chen: Ewww, that emo girl thing was a joke, right? As for my height, I’m 6′ tall with my Slutty Rock Boots (TM) on. 5′8″ (173cm) without. Far too tall to have such a useless mutant pinkie :p
Kristof: I am pretty sure the Maestro (he likes it when I call him that) will understand without my having to invoke my awesome computer mind melding tactics.
Joe: Nothing wrong with that! Now, if you were searching for “naked female guitarists with huge racks,” then I might raise an eyebrow.
Mps: Cool about the Wikipedia! Most of my referrers are from Google. Lots of queries that you might expect (lori linstruth, female guitarists, stream of passion, etc.). Since posting the arpeggio vids I’ve been getting a fair amount from Stumble upon. Noticeable traffic surges usually come from various guitar forums. These forum threads nearly always start with some guy declaring his love (awwww) or praising my playing, which gets a few agreements before all the haters chime in and bash me in every detail. To be honest, the first few times it really upset me. Then I realized that the animosity had everything to do with THEM, and nothing to do with ME.
Ian: Thanks very much for the lovely compliment! I do have plans to make some music with LOTS more guitar in it, but I don’t like to talk much about future projects until they’re close to completion. Anyway, knowing that at least one person would want to hear more helps for the inspiration. Thanks!
I some times search for female guitarist as well, but the only people who come up (at least with out a days worth of digging) are you, Nori Bucci, and some Japanese girl, but none of them are as funny as you.
ha ha haa!
That’s the funniest stuff I’ve seen all week!
Butt plag LOL
Lori: great idea!
Hi Lori and everyone!
I just tried to get to your website by typing ‘tinfoil hat’(this is NOT how i found about you in the first place thought).Didn’t find it unless i typed ‘tinfoil hat Lori’ where your site was the fourth one listed.
I didn’t know that so many people were into that tinfoil thing…
Type to you later,
Jomaheux.
My search phrases are no where near that cool…
#9 is obviously my favorite– though it should be clarified that “frantic” describes the listener.
JP
Your favorite “Vibratee”
OK I checked my searches for Lori referencs
40 – lori linstruth born
118- lori linstruth leave sop
181- lori buono
279- “andy gavin” “lori linstruth”
last one edited for reasons of decency
418- “lori linstruth” ***** ****
jomaheux: Not no. 1 for tinfoil hats? Have to do some quick SEO and change that!
JP: I’ve no idea what a “frantic” vibrato would actually sound like…hmmm….
Laurie: I admire your restraint! Just hope it was a compliment, whatever it was.